I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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