Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
