There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
