I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm getting married
To pizza
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
