Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
