in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize