Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
he had hair everywhere except his balls
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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