How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
try to milk me bitch
Randomize