If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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