I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i now understand why vodka
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
