I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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