so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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