there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
