yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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