is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
