No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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