and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
