I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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