my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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