i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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