It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
