A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
