Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
