He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
