I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
