My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Found the puke drawer
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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