Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
