but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She's the barista slut.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
