their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
