Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
