It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i out mim tonsoeep
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