So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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