overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My dick has a subreddit
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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