Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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