GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
