Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
