Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize