Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
She announced her abortion via fbk
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
