Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
