dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
