Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
