My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
