I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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