peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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