u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
