I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
