Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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