I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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