I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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