i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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