I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
