I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
