11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
oh god the rape fog is back!
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
