hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
