i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
