that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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