found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
