I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
