I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize