My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize